DWTS Season 14: Latin Week

Couples tango, samba & salsa

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SAN ANTONIO - It’s Latin Week! Somehow, it’s also the halfway point of the competition. That should mean the dancing is better than OK. It should also mean a whole lot of skin and enough hip action to make even Len happy. It’s time to check out the show – LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE (from my DVR)!
Carlos Santana opened the show with a performance of “Evil Ways” while the DWTS troupe did some crazy stunts the couples in the competition probably won’t be allowed to take on this week. Before I get to the couples, I must say I’m worried Brooke Burke Charvet may have a wardrobe malfunction. I thought that might just be an issue for the dancers!
Jaleel & Kym – Samba

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There is a whole lot of Jaleel’s chest happening. And it looks like Kym has wrapped her left leg in fringe toilet paper. What I’m trying to say: strange costume. Jaleel is really good in hold. When he’s by himself, he seems a little lost. This was definitely his best dance since week one!

Len said Jaleel had rhythm in abundance. He said Jaleel’s bum was going like it was chewing a toffee. He said Jaleel took a few liberties with the technique. Bruno said Jaleel got the party started. He stood up and starting shimmying. STOP. Carrie Ann said Jaleel came out with attack and fire, but he needs to watch his arm when he’s out of hold.
SCORE: 24
Melissa & Maks – Salsa

Maks hit the spray tan a little hard. Melissa’s dress makes me want a raspa! Maybe Melissa needs to have a concussion more often. She was better than she’s been all season. Her feet weren’t 100%, but she really threw herself into this. Literally. She let Maks spin her around again – the same move that left her with a concussion last week.

Bruno said Melissa always goes with maximum thrust. He said Melissa has to be precise all the way through. Bruno stood up and I think he was spanking the desk. I’m uncomfortable. Carrie Ann said it’s beautiful to see how much confidence Melissa has gained through the competition. She agreed with Bruno – Melissa needs more control. She needs steps that fit her body. Len said he saw great rhythm and feel, but it was sometimes untidy and rough.
SCORE: 21
Maria & Derek – Salsa

During rehearsal, Maria hit the floor hard. With her chin. This girl is going to be in a full body cast by the end of the season! I absolutely LOVE her crazy feather hat! And Maria was all up on Dr. Drew. Huh? This was at times crazy fast, then slow. Derek paused to take off his shirt. They had another break to kiss. WHAT?!?!

Carrie Ann said Maria and Derek didn’t need the kiss. She didn’t think they needed to go at it in the middle of the dance. She did like it. Len said Maria’s talent is fantastic. Bruno licked his lips and asked, “Was it legal? Do you want me to get you a room? Can I join in?” He said the dance was saucy and hot – just the way he likes it.
SCORE: 27
Katherine & Mark – Argentine tango

Katherine has been “doing damage to Mark’s naughty bits” while practicing her kicks. That’s a quote, folks. Oh, my. Katherine appears to be unable to do wrong. They were in perfect step from the first hold. The lifts were pretty darn good and seamless. WOW! If they don’t get a perfect score, no one will!

Len said it was like a rose. It had beauty, but underneath the surface was the thorn – sharp, menacing, bittersweet. Bruno said it was dancing and choreography of the highest quality. He said the dance was played to perfection. Carrie Ann said Katherine’s first lunge was perfection. She said Katherine has the best legs of any contestant ever on the show. She said the dance was poetry in motion. 80s music fans, Carrie Ann did not say the dance blinded her with science.
SCORE: 29 (Len gave them a 9)
Gavin & Karina – Samba

Gavin, I don’t believe there is a hat that is samba-appropriate. I’m going to put you in the bottom two just for not parting ways with that hat. I’m surprised that I am anti-hat. It’s just that in these dances, Gavin is more like a random guy plucked from the audience to dance, not like he’s participating in the whole vibe. There. Said it. On to the dancing. Wait. Why was Gavin wearing a couple of dirty shirts? Was that all from Karina’s spray tan? Strange. OK. I’m focused again. I think. Karina was working really hard. Gavin dropped Karina’s hand and she nearly fell. Weakest performance of the night. I’m officially anti-Gavin.

Bruno laughed. He asked if Gavin was suffering from tropical fever. He said Gavin let himself go and he enjoyed it. Carrie Ann said Gavin lacked form. Len said it was more of a shamba than a samba. The audience booed. Len said it was a gallant effort. Sounds like not good scores.
SCORE: 19

DANCE BREAK! Carlos Santana returned to perform “Maria Maria.”
William & Cheryl – Argentine tango

TRUTH: I won’t care if William can do this dance if he wears a sleeveless shirt. What? If I were a guy commenting on the need for a lady to wear a skimpy costume to make me think she was a good dancer, no one would judge me. DARN IT! Sleeves! This had more lifts than the previous tango, but not as many kicks. It was definitely better than William’s dance last week. Did not crush Katherine’s tango.

Carrie Ann said it was ridiculously amazing. She said William was “the Latin dancing James Bond.” Len said he saw mood, sensuality and color. Bruno said it was it was pulsating and sexy and a few other adjectives.
SCORE: 29 (Len gave it a 9)
Gladys & Tristan – Samba

Y’all, Gladys looks like a party peacock! I do love Gladys, but I felt like I was watching her dance in slow motion – especially when I watched Tristan do the same steps. This makes me sad. But I think Gladys was having fun. Wish I was.

Len said Gladys is easy on the eyes. He said this number was simple but effective. Bruno said the dance was hard, but Gladys is magic. Carrie Ann said Gladys had a few mistakes, but Gladys commands the stage.
SCORE: 22
Roshon & Chelsie – Salsa

Roshon was trying to channel William. I think he was wearing William’s wife’s t-shirt. William did tell Roshon he needs to be suave. Roshon is so cute! I want to put him in a box on my desk! That would be really hard to do if he’s doing this dance. He was so busy my desk mates would not appreciate it. As for Roshon’s dancing – LOVED IT!

Bruno said Roshon’s energy and timing was unbelievable. He said Roshon was right on the beat. Carrie Ann said Roshon was sexy (not that she’s being a cougar). She said it was very appropriate – he didn’t become somebody else. Len said he likes Roshon’s enthusiasm. He said sometimes Roshon needs to slow down sometimes.
SCORE: 26
Donald & Peta – Argentine tango

I expect some insane lifts from Donald. He’s crazy strong! I have to acknowledge the wardrobe department. I have no idea how that little strip keeps Peta’s bottom part of her dress from flying loose! And there’s the lift – Peta leaned back and held her legs like she was bent in half! Incredible! And the dance ended with a lift and Donald hold Peta upside down! WOW!!! This was not as kicky as Katherine’s tango, but still pretty good!

Carrie Ann said it was divine. She said Donald was in control. Len said the lifts were spectacular. He said the rest of it was “nearly, not quite.” Bruno said the build-up was amazing. He didn’t like Donald’s super model walk. He liked the rest of it.
SCORE: 27 (Carrie Ann gave it a 10)

Tuesday, Train and Selena Gomez will perform. Also, the bottom two couples will perform a “dance duel” and the judges get to decide which couple gets to dance another week (eyes on you, Gavin & Gladys). 

If you want to watch the show online, click here.


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