Listen up!

Class is in session.

"One Night Stand" is history, and there's a new champion in the WWE family. Who won some gold? Read on, kids:

Stretcher Match: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam
What Should Happen: The loser gets carried out on a stretcher. That should be RVD because he's already been knocked in the noggin by Orton a few times. WWE is trying to build Orton into a monster heel again, and this is the route the promotion is taking: concussions. Personally, I think it's tacky -- especially due to the serious nature of real head injuries. But when hasn't WWE been a bit tacky?

What Will Happen: WWE is not going to build Orton into a killer heel and have him lose here. RVD goes out on the stretcher.

What Did Happen: Orton was stretchered out first, giving RVD the surprise win.

Pudding Match: Melina vs. Candice Michelle
What Should Happen: In this classic battle, two artificially constructed female humanoids will tangle in a pool of artificially flavored pudding. I've made dozens of phone calls to WWE headquarters, but no one will divulge the flavor. I'm guessing vanilla. Or maybe butterscotch. Chocolate? No way. Too 1998 for this sort of thing. What should happen? Three words. It. Doesn't. Matter.

What Will Happen: It's a non-title match. That means women's champ Melina will be out-puddinged by Candice.

What Did Happen: It was chocolate. As for the match, Candice prevailed -- forcing Melina to tap out.

Tables Match: C.M. Punk, Tommy Dreamer and Sandman vs. Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von and Matt Striker
What Should Happen: "One Night Stand" used to be a ECW-only pay-per-view. But since WWE has treated ECW like a freckle-faced, red-headed stepchild (sorry all you freckle-faced, red-headed stepchildren out there, but I had to make a point), this is the only relatively-pure ECW match on the card. One one side, you have Burke, Cor Von (or is it just Von?) and Striker -- the so-called "New Breed," who have no connection to the old ECW. On the other side, it's ECW "Originals" Dreamer and Sandman teaming with newcomer Punk, who was a bad guy just a few weeks ago -- teaming with Burke's boys.

Confused yet? It's really not that complicated. Let me explain. Vince McMahon didn't start ECW. He just bought the name and the video library after it folded. Therefore, he has no desire to keep it going. What should happen? If I were writing the show, I'd have Punk turn on his ECW pals and make it a four-on-two situation. I'd then have all the former ECW stars storm the ring to beat down the "New Breed" and take a final bow to put the ECW brand to rest.

What Will Happen: The "Originals" will win as Dreamer puts Striker through a table.

What Did Happen: Punk put Striker through a table, giving the "Originals" the win.

World Tag Team Championship Match: The Hardys (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas
What Should Happen: This is a ladder match for the gold, and just might steal the show. Both teams can put on a great match when properly motivated. If it were up to me, I'd keep the belts on the Hardys because Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are waiting in the wings for another shot at the titles. With some smart booking, WWE can really rejuvenate its tag division. Keep the talented Haas/Benjamin team in the mix, but don't give them the belts just yet.

What Will Happen: I'm going with Matt and Jeff to topple Chuck and Ben.

What Did Happen: The Hardys won in a pretty good match, filled with lots of high-flying moves.

ECW World Championship Match: Vince McMahon (c) vs. Bobby Lashley
What Should Happen: This is built as a "Street Fight" where anything goes. I'm guessing that Umaga and Shane McMahon will get a few pops in on Lashley, but it's time to move on. Vince, you've had your fun as ECW champ.

What Will Happen: Vince loses the belt to Lashley, with Umaga taking center stage as the legit challenger to the much-maligned ECW crown.

What Did Happen: Lashely pinned Vince to regain the ECW title. Umaga and Shane were in the mix all the way.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Edge (c) vs. Batista
What Should Happen:The "Smackdown!" duo will meet in a steel cage this time around. Batista is OK, but wouldn't he be great if he were as good on the mic and as good in the ring as Edge? Just a thought. There's no way Edge should lose here. Trust him to carry the load for a while.

What Will Happen: Edge will prevail once again over Batista.

What Did Happen: Edge got out of the cage a split-second before Batista, retaining the belt.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. The Great Khali
What Should Happen: Here, Cena meets Khali in a "Falls Count Anywhere" encounter. Khali -- big as he is -- doesn't stand a chance. Nor should he. He can't talk, can't move and isn't interesting. He's the total non-package. He has to go. This is the last I want to see of him. Please, Vince. Mercy.

What Will Happen: Cena will conquer all odds and beat the mumbling monster.

What Did Happen: Cena pinned Khali to retain his WWE title.

There you have it. For the record, I was six for seven in my predictions. Another jaw-droppingly great performance my me. But you knew that would happen.

That's it!

Class is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )