SAN ANTONIO -

It’s a DWTS Double Down! Two dances! Two eliminations! But first, it’s what feels like the world’s longest intro! Let’s see how the top six pull this off.

Donald & Peta –Tango

Donald seemed to hunch forward when he was dancing. I don’t know if he was trying to dance at eye level with Peta. It was strange. It was a good tango, but not the best one I’ve seen on this show.

Len said Donald delivered a first round knockout. He said Donald did a great job. Bruno said he thought he was going to have to call a marriage counselor. He said they were going for it like there was no tomorrow. Carrie Ann said Donald was in the zone. She said he was focused and his shapes were more dynamic. She said Donald needs a little more drama. Len and Bruno disagreed. Bruno said Donald has to watch his shoulders. Clearly we were watching different dances.

SCORE: 27

Maria & Derek – Viennese Waltz

These two seemed awfully handsy and kissy before they even danced. I’m going to say they’re a real couple. I’m probably wrong, but I’m still going to say it. Wow. Maria is absolutely lovely! This might be the best waltz of the season! I hope Carrie Ann doesn’t take off points for Maria’s feet coming up off the floor. Maybe the smoke blocked that?

Bruno said it was amazing (and other stuff, but I didn’t fully understand). Maria started to cry. Carrie Ann said it was beautiful. She said something magical is happening between Maria and Derek that is making their performance special. Len said Maria is the best in hold. He said Derek missed a chance to put her in hold. Oh. Someone has his cranky pants on! He said Derek disappointed him.

SCORE: 28 (Len gave them an 8)

Melissa & Maks – Fox Trot

Maks was trying out all the expletives he knew in every combination during rehearsals. He told Melissa that she’s making him look like a terrorist. She said he can make himself look like a bad guy. Yikes. Oh, Melissa. She was skipping just trying to keep up with Maks at times. Oh, and don’t think I wouldn’t say something about Maks and his nerdy glasses. OK. It’s more of a “what Clark Kent would look like if he went to prep school” look. In the end, Melissa got it together and danced pretty well.

Carrie Ann said Melissa’s shoulders were down. She said it was Melissa’s best dance ever. She noticed the mistakes at the beginning. Len noticed the mistakes but said there was some good dancing. Bruno said Melissa’s presentation was the best she’s done to date.

SCORE: 24

Katherine & Mark – Viennese Waltz

Katherine smacked her head and bounced her on the floor a few times during rehearsal. I like that the two top couples from last week are doing the same dance. Watching Katherine, I can’t help but notice she does not have one inelegant bone in her body. She looks like she was born to waltz! There should be enough hold here to make Len happy. The ending – Mark swung her around without Katherine hitting her head AND she kept her feet on the ground. Just. Wow.

Len said the dance had plenty of content. The only thing he didn’t like – the “spinny thing.” Bruno said Katherine’s technique is superb. He noticed Katherine lost it right before the spin. Carrie Ann said Katherine’s technique is astounding. She said Katherine lost her balance and wasn’t on her footing. BOOING. Not just me. The audience disagreed. Bruno and Len were disagreeing with her. Thankfully, Tom threw to a commercial break to end the bickering.

SCORE: 26

Roshon & Chelsie – Fox Trot

Roshon’s grandmothers came to watch rehearsal. They were so cute; I’d give Roshon an “8” just for them! Oh, this I REALLY liked! This was the most fun dance I’ve seen tonight! These two are also adorable! I want to put them in a box and make them dance on command. Wait. I’m not actually going to do that. It would be illegal. And creepy.

Bruno said Roshon’s hold and lines were great. He said it was like watching a young Mickey Rooney. Carrie Ann checked in with the grandmothers. They jumped up and cheered. Carrie Ann said she was proud of him. Len gave Roshon a “good job, dog!”

SCORE: 29 (Len gave them a 9)

William & Cheryl – Fox Trot

I had to watch this twice because I found myself just watching and smiling and not writing. I didn’t think you’d want a big, blank space here. The other fox trots were fun, but this one had sass. I like me some sass! A lot!

Carrie Ann gave it three “meows.” She said it was like a super hot sexy “Pink Panther.” She said William’s movements were exquisite. She said he’s fun to watch. Len said it was a mix of care and flair. He liked it. Bruno called William a heartbreaker. Then he said he hates William. Um, opposite day?

SCORE: 30