SAN ANTONIO -

After fourteen seasons, it’s hard to believe the folks at Dancing With The Stars could round up a random bunch of “celebrities” for more dancing, but they’ve done it! Some of you may have missed the first go-round of the show because of our weather coverage (and I’m part of that bunch, so don’t get too cranky). I caught the repeat on Saturday, so I was able to see the first performances. If you missed the first dance – or missed my oh-so-witty recap – consider this Christmas in March.

Let’s get to the dancing!

COUPLE: Maria & Derek

DANCE: Cha cha cha

I don’t know a whole lot about Maria, but I do know she’s athletic. Athletes tend to do well in this competition. Oh. She has the craziest laugh. I’m suddenly worried for her health (not because of the dancing). I have no idea how the first ten seconds of this dance went because it was so dark. In the light, I can see that Maria is wearing what may be the tiniest first dance costume in the show’s history! She’s not bad, but she’s really stiff – like she has Barbie’s unbendable knees.

Len said nothing can prepare you for the first dance. He said Maria coped very well. He wanted more hip action. Bruno said Maria is curvaceously delicious. He said her timing was good, as was her hand placement. He said Maria needs to “open up the sex pot.” I’m uncomfortable. He told Maria to think about Sofia Vergara. Carrie Ann thought it was a strong, solid cha cha. She said she wants to see confidence between moves.

SCORE: 21

COUPLE: Jack & Anna

DANCE: Fox trot

I think Jack’s soap experience should help him out. He can use those facial expressions to mask any fear he has on the dance floor. Oh, wait. He’s starting the dance on the ground, kicking his legs in the air. I was about to write him off as a one-dance wonder, then he and Anna started dancing in hold. Much better, but his feet sometimes seemed stuck to the floor. Now, if Jack was the least bit worried about how he’d do, his face certainly didn’t show it. See? Soap acting pays off!

Bruno said it was beautifully acted and danced. Carrie Ann said the dance took her to a happy place. She said Jack can act, sing AND dance. Len said the dance had a lightness about it and a feel-good factor. He said Jack’s posture was poor, he had hap-hazard footwork. Len said he enjoyed the performance.

SCORE: 23

COUPLE: Donald & Peta

DANCE: Cha cha cha

Just watching the tape from his rehearsals, I am naming Donald (and his skinny legs) one of my favorites! Why is he pretending to sing at the beginning? I think Donald has enough hip action for the judges. And hats off to the wardrobe department – Peta’s super-skimpy costume stayed in place (much to the chagrin of some of my co-workers). Donald has Emmitt-esque charisma. I’m not the only one who thinks so.

Carrie Ann said Donald is nothing but charisma and charm. She said he “kicked that cha cha’s booty.” She said it was a crowd pleaser, though she didn’t know how much cha cha was there. Len said Donald’s attitude was good, he had flair. He said Donald lost time. He said Donald’s next dance will need more control. Bruno said Donald is a diamond in the rough. He said Donald was like “a rooster chasing a hen.” He said Donald has the talent, he needs to refine it.

SCORE: 21

COUPLE: Gavin & Karina

DANCE: Fox trot

I’m worried for Gavin. He doesn’t seem the least bit confident that he can do this. I’d watch with one hand over my eyes, but it’s hard to type. Question for you Gavinites (is that what his fans are called?): does he always wear a hat? Because that’s totally distracting me. His footwork wasn’t bad, but he sometimes seemed to be walking through the dance. Meh.

Len said he liked the routine, but he said Gavin was a little bit stiff in his arms and legs. He said the dance lacked musicality. Bruno said Gavin had great charm. He said Gavin has to learn to link the moves. He said Gavin stiffens up at the wrong times. Carrie Ann Gavin has great musical interpretation. She said the flow was nice, but she thought Gavin’s arm was hyper-extended.

SCORE: 20

COUPLE: Roshon & Chelsie

DANCE: Cha cha cha

Roshon is the youngest competitor on the show. That explains why I have no idea who he is. Roshon is a hip hop dancer but that doesn’t seem to be helping him in rehearsals. I’m growing tired of these performances not starting with dancing. Why is Roshon on a lounger? Once he started dancing, Roshon was actually quite good. I liked his Michael Jackson moves – including that moonwalk! Roshon is now on my radar!