DWTS season 14: The semifinals

Top four couples perform two dances each

Author: Nicole Perez, Executive Producer, nperez@ksat.com
Published On: May 15 2012 12:52:30 AM CDT   Updated On: May 22 2012 10:47:37 AM CDT
SAN ANTONIO -

It’s the final four! I can almost see that mirrorball trophy from here! The couples are performing two full dances for a shot at the finals. These four couples are all really good! Let’s see who shines and who stumbles!

William & Cheryl – Tango

I was looking for something to say William didn’t do, but I couldn’t see it. Wait. His face. I think he’s counting steps. But that’s all. Really strong!

Len said he hasn’t been this excited since his “mum put me in long trousers.” He thought William’s dance was terrific. He wanted more hold and thought William was slightly flat-footed. Bruno said William was full of animal magnetism. He said William was like the dictator of the tango. Carrie Ann said William dances beautifully. She said William lacked control a couple of time (she used dance phrases I’ve never heard and don’t know how to spell).

SCORE: 28 (Bruno gave it a 10)

Katherine & Mark – Quick Step

Why is she starting in a cage? I couldn’t tell if there was a little mistake in the middle of the dance when they were at the edge of the dance floor and started a run. It doesn’t matter. Katherine went through this dance like she does this all the time for fun! She made this dance look effortless when it was clearly a lot of work.

Bruno said it was outstanding. He said Katherine had amazing technique. Carrie Ann said Katherine didn’t bring her “A” game – she said she brought her “A+” game. She said it may have been the best dance she’s ever seen on the show. Len said there was a little foot fault early on. Mark said it was his fault that he kneed Katherine. Len said it was a fabulous number.

SCORE: 29 (Len gave it a 9)

Donald & Peta – Waltz

This was nice, but it felt rushed. I don’t know why. I wanted to love this. I just liked it. Meh.

Carrie Ann said it was dreamy. She said Donald brought out his emotions, but she said Donald’s feet didn’t finish the step. Len said the dance was charming. He said Donald needed to have his head more to the left. He said Donald is like a “big rough, tuff cream puff.” Bruno said it’s harder to impress with a waltz than with a tango or quick step. He said Donald did that. He said Donald extended his lines better than ever. He said it was like “watching romance blossom in front of my eyes.”

SCORE: 28 (Bruno gave it a 10)

Maria & Derek – Argentine Tango

I was shouting at my TV when this started. There was about 20 seconds of just feet behind a curtain. I thought the camera took the wrong angle! Then, Maria and Derek and their pretzeled legs somehow made it down the stairs. This was absolutely lift-tastic! The kicks in this were uh-MAZE-ing! WOW! If this doesn’t get a perfect score, I don’t think anything will!

Len said he was caught up in the whole thing. Bruno said it was enticing and titillating. Then, he touched Len. He said what Maria has achieved is fabulous. Carrie Ann said the journey Maria has undergone – I don’t know what else she said. She kicked Len under the table, and then rolled her head around. I don’t know what’s happened to these judges, but I think they really, REALLY liked this.

SCORE: 30

William & Cheryl – Samba

Oh, NOW we’re going to get the back stories on these contestants? I’m already invested in these people. Why didn’t they do this in the early weeks of the show? Sorry, readers. I’m hitting FF on all of these. If there was a dance William was born to do, it was this one! Wow! If there was not enough hip action happening for the judges, they need medication! I think Cheryl tore her dress in the upper side area. I’m afraid to rewind to see if there was a wardrobe malfunction.

Bruno said we’ve entered the “Pleasure Zone.” He said he’s going to die with bum envy. Carrie Ann said William had her from the beginning. She said his bounce was more like a thrust. She said it was amazing. Len said he never looked at a man’s bum for so long in his life. He said William was a hunk with junk in his trunk. 

SCORE: 30

TOTAL SCORE: 58

Katherine & Mark – Salsa

Katherine’s hair reminds me of what mine looks like on these rainy days. I’m going to start telling people I want to be Katherine. This seemed more freestyle than salsa. It’s like Katherine can’t loosen up. Oh no! Mark knocked Katherine and nearly dropped her. She started crying. I don’t know what’s happening. I think she’s hurt. She said she’s OK. She said she felt her back go at the end.

Carrie Ann said it was fantastic. She said it was like Katherine hung out with Beyonce. Len said she gave it 100%. Bruno said Katherine was wonderful up until the end.

SCORE: 27

TOTAL SCORE: 56

Donald & Peta – Samba

Oh, I don’t envy Donald following William’s samba! Well, he started his differently by ripping of Peta’s conservative costume for one that was short and full of fringe. This seemed more conservative than William’s samba. It was fun, but not super sexy. Donald seemed to be really comfortable during this dance.

Len said it was a little hesitant at times, but he liked it. Bruno said Donald’s dance was dangerous because it was out of the realm of Brazil, but Donald did it his own way beautifully. Carrie Ann smiled. She thought it was A+ game.

SCORE: 29 (Len gave it a 9)

TOTAL SCORE: 57

Maria & Derek – Jive

I don’t know why they did so much monkeying around with the table (are you happy, ABC? I sound like a cranky old Brit!). They did a lot of shimmying and slow movements. I started shouting at my TV for them to start kicking! If this was freestyle, I’d be OK with it. But this girl can dance. I wanted a REAL jive. I feel like I was robbed!

Bruno said it was reinvented and quirky. He said it worked beautifully. Carrie Ann said Maria is a winner. She was blown away. Len said it was clever. He liked the rhythm. He said it wasn’t traditional, but felt right. Len said she went wrong with some of the footwork, but he liked it.

SCORE: 29 (Len gave it a 9)

TOTAL SCORE: 59

Tuesday, Carrie Underwood, Alanis Morisette, Julianne Hough and Mary J. Blige will perform. We’ll also get some insight into the next season (I heard they’re finally taking my advice and bringing back some of the “should have/could have wons.” Also, one couple is going home (sadly, I think it could be Katherine).

You can watch the show online here.