Keep eating wine. LEAVE THAT PHONE ALONE!
3. MAD CARBS AND DAIRY AND OIL AND SNACKS, YO
Get a loaf of great bread. From a bakery. Or a supermarket. Whatever you want. I don't know what you want. Something with olives in it? Rosemary? Sundried tomatoes? None of the above? Baguette? Focaccia?
It's up to you.
Now, get things that will go with this bread.
A great olive oil.
A wonderful pesto.
A tapenade (I'm thinking about this anchovy and black tapenade that I had recently. OMG YES SO GOOD.)
Olives. A gang of mixed olives.
Sea salt chocolate.
An Asian pear.
Meats. Prosciutto...whatever, man.
CHEESE. CHEESE AND MORE CHEESE.
Get you some GOOD damn cheese.
You could even make some Burrata. Dear lord, you should make some Burrata. It's an Italian cheese made from mozzarella and cream. Yes. Exactly.
Anyways, it's not that hard to learn how to make. I've done it. It's delicious and amazing and now you will know how to make cheese and THAT, is sexy. Make some Burrata and level up in life. People get excited when you tell them you make cheese. THEN THEY WILL MARRY YOU. OH!
Put everything on a big chopping board or a wooden whatever. Sit there. Eat it.
4. Butter Poached Lobster Tail and Filet Mignon
I like this one a lot because it feels like, "What people feel is the expensive date thing to have, but people in movies and not really in 2013, but I'm sure a lot of people actually feel this way still, you could probably find someone like that, which is not a bad thing, because COME ON, I f***ing love lobster and steak and who doesn't want butter, so really it's still a great thing I'm sure I could put a modern twist on it."
I'm not going to give you recipes for this, because you're on the internet and you would be so lazy to not just type that into Google. What's wrong with you? That's probably why you're single. Type it in, dummyface.
5. A Pizza and Salad
There are some different ways to go about this. I think whichever is fine. It's up to you, man. See, what's cool about being single is that it's all up to you. You can do what you want. You don't have to worry about who doesn't like what topping. Nah, man. Cool. So.
Order a pizza if you want. Get whatever you want.
Or. Get some pizza dough. Or those super handy ready for topping pizza crusts. Then, get WHATEVER YOU WANT TO PUT ON THEM!