Tomorrow (Dec. 21) is my next scheduled chemotherapy. I was supposed to have the poison poured through my veins at 9 o'clock Thursday morning. And as much as I was dreading it -- at least it would mark the halfway point. Now, I may not even have it tomorrow.
I just got a call from my oncologist saying my white cell count is too low for the treatment. So, I go in tomorrow morning for another blood test. If it comes back okay, I'll get my treatment tomorrow afternoon. If it doesn't, we'll have to put it off for at least one day.
One day doesn't sound so bad -- right? To me it's terrible! Christmas is Monday and if I don't have the treatment on schedule tomorrow I'm afraid I will be sick Christmas day. This is such an important Christmas to my family. My daughter Nicole understands for the first time that it is Jesus' birthday and that Santa is coming. She has been so looking forward to it. I don't want to spend the day sick!
I know, I know, my health is most important and I can't have chemo if my body can't handle it! But that doesn't mean I have to like it! Right?!
All I can do now is pray for healing and that all goes well. My doctor is going to try a bunch of new anti-nausea drugs, so maybe I won't even get sick this time!
No matter what happens, I am grateful to be alive and to have a wonderful family to share Christmas with -- even if I am bald and sick!
I also want to say thank you. Thank you for showing me so much love and concern and I wish every one of you the best this holiday season! Merry Christmas!