Alicia Keys is getting honest about her state of mind when she got pregnant with her second child, her now 5-year-old son, Genesis.
In her upcoming memoir, More Myself, the 39-year-old singer reveals she considered not going through with her pregnancy in 2014 when she was caught off guard by the news that she was four months along. According to an excerpt from her memoir obtained by People, Keys writes that she told her doctor she "wasn't ready" for the news when she found out, and the timing wasn't exactly ideal.
"'This is the worst time ever,'" she recalls telling her doctor. "'I'm working on my next album. My husband just got into Harvard Business School. And I've been drinking -- a lot.' I left her office feeling so torn."
"The music I was creating felt more important and urgent than just about everything," she continues, referencing her 2016 album, Here. "I'd have to put off its release for at least a year if I chose to have the baby."
But Keys says she decided to go through with her pregnancy when she went into the studio one night and listened to a song she and her husband wrote called "More Than We Know."
"The lyrics are about how we're capable of so much more than we can ever imagine," she writes. "My eyes filled with tears. How could I take away the potential for this beautiful child, this light that could touch others in ways I couldn't dream of."
"For me, the song was a powerful message that I should go on with the pregnancy," she continued.
Aside from Genesis, Keys is also a mom to her 9-year-old son, Egypt, with her husband, Swizz Beatz. The 41-year-old rapper and producer also has three children from previous relationships -- 19-year-old Prince Nasir, 13-year-old Kasseem and 11-year-old Nicole.
These days, Keys' children remain her number one priority. In November, she fiercely defended Genesis' desire to get a rainbow manicure, after she said he told her he no longer wanted it when he noted that "people are not gonna like it."
"He's four! And he already understands the concept that someone is gonna judge him because he chose rainbow colors on his nails," she said in a video she posted on Instagram. "And I told him, 'Why? Nobody's gonna judge you. They're gonna love it. Look how creative you are. Look how amazing. Stick with it. You chose it. You liked it. You do it. Who cares what anyone else says?... Plus, you know, a lot of guys paint their nails. This is not, like, some strange thing that you only do.'"
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