Father of abuse survivor: 'I have saved my daughter's life'

SAN ANTONIO – It's a parent's worst nightmare to know his or her child is suffering and not be able to help.

After a domestic abuse survivor decided to tell her story to help others like her, her father decided he would like to share his experience -- in hopes of helping and inspiring other parents of abuse survivors.

It was about three months ago that the man -- who is not being identified -- said he noticed his adult daughter was acting strange.

"She didn't look happy. I would ask her, 'What's wrong? What's wrong?' She wouldn't tell me. She would say, 'I'm fine.' But I could sense it. I could tell something was wrong," he said.

Then, he said, he saw the proof.

"Her burns," he said, describing his daughter's injuries. "(On) her arms and her knees."

She was being abused at home.

"It hurts a lot to see her like that," he said through tears.

The man said he took his daughter straight to the police, where she filed a domestic violence report.

"She's my princess and nobody's going to hurt her," he said.

Then he found community resources that helped her with protective orders, legal questions, and counseling.

He said he knew he saved his daughter's life.

A panel of domestic violence experts who saw both the victim and her father's interviews agreed. All three said the father was smart to notice the isolation that is so common when someone is being abused.

"If they talk to them on the phone a couple times a week and suddenly that stops, they need to be aware," said Cyndi Jahn, with the District Attorney's Crime Victim's Advocacy Group.

Experts say when confronting a possible abuse victim, try to be supportive, not judgmental.

"Don't ask things like, 'Why didn't you tell us sooner? Why didn't you leave? Or what did you do? Did you make him mad?' When we come at a survivor like that with those kinds of statements, that's when they go running right back," said Putting an End to Abuse Through Community Efforts (PEACE) Initiative President Patricia Castillo.

This survivor said she wouldn't have been able to leave her abuser without her family's help.

"I've just been like, pushing them away. My whole family," she cried. "And now I have them all back. So it feels good."

Now that he has his little girl back, this father urges other families to follow suit.

"Don't wait another minute," he said. "Call the police. Take action quickly. I see it on the TV all the time, people getting hurt and killed. Stories just like this."

Last year in Texas alone, 112 people were killed in domestic violence situations. It's a statistic experts say can be lowered, with a little help from the people who love the victims the most.


About the Author:

Courtney Friedman anchors KSAT’s weekend evening shows and reports during the week. Her ongoing Loving in Fear series confronts Bexar County’s domestic violence epidemic. She joined KSAT in 2014 and is proud to call the SA and South Texas community home. She came to San Antonio from KYTX CBS 19 in Tyler, where she also anchored & reported.