SAN ANTONIO – As school starts, children and teenagers return to a fun yet challenging social environment. But when it comes to topics such as mental health, bullying and online safety, they don’t always open up to adults.
However, some students are talking to Crime Stoppers teams, who present on these subjects at schools across Texas.
The presentations are part of Crime Stoppers’ Million for Million campaign, trying to teach safety to one million Texas children in one year.
Cally Conklin, Crime Stoppers’ statewide education specialist, is one of those presenters, and she said her nonjudgmental approach actually gets children to talk.
“Students always come up to us afterwards and ask questions, or they email their counselors, or they email us,” Conklin said. “So we decided to compile a list.”
QUESTION 1: How can I tell if a relationship — friendship or romantic — is toxic or unhealthy?
“What it comes down to is, how do you feel when you’re with this person? Do you feel like they’re trying to control or manipulate you? Do you think they’re disrespectful? They’re putting you down? Do you like they are trying to make decisions for you about where you go, who you spend time with? A lot of times in abusive or unhealthy relationships, the person is trying to isolate that person from their friends and family,” Conklin said.
She encourages students to look for green flags as well, such as trust, communication and honesty.
QUESTION 2: If someone is bullying me or my friends online, what steps can we take to make it stop? What if reporting it doesn’t work?
“A lot of times, the bully is seeking attention, and they want a reaction or a rise out of their target. So really, the best way to stop it in its tracks is to ignore it,” Conklin said. “The second best thing to do is to ask the bully to stop. (A) lot of times, people don’t realize what they’re doing or saying is hurting someone else. If they still do not stop, this is when we need to report it.”
Conklin said it’s common for kids to tell her the adult they told did not follow through with the report.
“If the trusted adult that you confide in does not help you, keep looking. Your teacher might be too busy, your parent might be too close to it,” Conklin explained. ”Speak to your school counselors or a member of your administration. I always encourage them to use their school’s anonymous reporting tool.
“We also have an anonymous reporting tool at Crime Stoppers, where they can actually speak to members of law enforcement.”
QUESTION 3: What are the risks of sharing private photos or texts? What can I do if someone is threatening to share something I sent?
“Taking and sending nude or inappropriate photos amongst our teens is normalized,” Conklin said. “I get them to think about the fact that when they take a photo and send it, the minute it leaves their device, they absolutely relinquish control.”
It is also illegal for a minor to take and send illicit photos; it is considered child pornography.
“Yes, it is illegal for them to send; however, I don’t want that to discourage anyone from coming forward if they find themselves in a scary situation because they are the victim in that,” Conklin said. “If someone is threatening to share it, the number one thing to do is to not comply with the demand because it will never be enough. Likely, they will be demanding more photos, money, maybe they’re asking for favors. This is how we see children winding up in human trafficking situations.”
Conklin also emphasized the importance of seeking help in situations like these.
“Second of all, get help. Tell a trusted adult. I know it’s embarrassing, I know it’s hard. I look at them and I say, ‘We all make mistakes sometimes. It’s OK. It’s never too late to ask for help.’ We care way more about their safety than judging them or getting them in trouble,” Conklin continued.
QUESTION 4: How can I protect my privacy online and know who is safe to talk to?
“The very first rule of thumb I always give them is private profiles,” Conklin said. “I get a lot of pushback on this because some kids want to go public, they want to be an influencer, they want to go viral. But this limits the number of strangers who can talk to them and access their content.”
She said the question of who is safe to talk to online is a tough one.
“People pretend to be other people on the internet. So, a good rule of thumb is teaching them how to spot fake profiles. And verifying with their friends, ‘Is this your username? Is this your account?’ Then, we teach them how to clue into and tune into their gut feelings,” Conklin explained. “If they start having a conversation and it feels weird, it feels off, that’s your gut telling you something’s not right. You can block that user. You can report them within the app.”
QUESTION 5: Can minors get in legal trouble for vaping, skipping school or sharing photos? Does it stay on your record?
“Vaping is absolutely illegal. Texas law says you have to be 21 to purchase, possess or consume any tobacco or vape products,” Conklin said. “In addition to that, schools almost across the board in the state of Texas have implemented very strict policies regarding vaping paraphernalia. Whereas if a student is caught on school campus, it is immediate removal to an alternative school.”
She said that such incidents stay on a student’s record for the duration of their time at that school and likely for the duration of their time as a minor.
“Things like skipping school would be considered truancy. Those can build up,” Conklin said. “That can also come back to haunt you in terms of detention, suspension, or even law enforcement on legal action.”
Conklin reiterated that sending illicit photos is illegal and considered child pornography, but said kids who come forward when threatened are treated as victims, not criminals.
On general charges for these situations, Conklin said, “In Texas, generally your record as a minor is sealed when you are 18, but it really depends upon the severity. If you’ve been convicted of a felony, that can follow you into adulthood. So, the message is really that adult decisions come with adult consequences, and for things like cyberbullying, you can be arrested starting at the age of 10 in Texas.”
The good news
Conklin said it’s a great sign that children and teenagers are opening up about these tough topics and wanting to stay safe. The more they learn, the more likely they are to prevent dangerous situations.
“It means that they’re invested and this really is impacting their life and they really want to know more information,” she said.
Anyone interested in learning more or requesting a Crime Stoppers presentation at their child’s school or church, click here.
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