SAN ANTONIO – A San Antonio woman’s letter to her bridesmaids went viral recently and her transparency has created a discussion surrounding the costs of being in a bridal party in the U.S.
Lisa Torres spoke with KSAT about the responses she’s received from her bridal party letter.
Torres, who got engaged in April and is planning on tying the knot in May 2022 said she’s excited to be getting married and is planning on having seven bridesmaids.
However, when it came time to ask her friends to be part of her bridal party, she wanted to make sure everyone knew what the cost of being in that position might entail.
“When I was a bridesmaid, I did not realize how much cost and time goes into the role. Since I was asking some friends that would be a first-time bridesmaid, I wanted to give them all kinds of information I was not aware initially aware of,” said Torres.
She said that she’s known several people who ended up in a wedding party without realizing it would cost so much money and take up so much time.
“All of those complaints seemed to stem from a lack of clarity from the onset. In general, wedding customs and expectations vary across cultures, regions and people,” said Torres. “A single bridesmaid can have such a different experience while being part of more than one wedding. This is why I wanted to be as transparent as possible.”
Torres sent a bridesmaid proposal box to the people she wanted to be in her wedding party that included, among other things, a customized wine tumbler, customized water tumbler, a koozie and a transparency letter.
In her letter, which went viral on TikTok with more than 1 million reactions and nearly 16,000 shares and prompted a Buzzfeed article, she explained what the costs associated with being a bridesmaid in her wedding would be and what her expectations were of her bridal party.
“I was so relieved that my friends had such a positive response to the letter. They all appreciated the transparency,” Torres said.
View the letter below:
Torres outlines what her time commitment expectations are and what the potential costs might involve for her bridesmaids in the letter. She also explains what costs she will cover for her bridal party and makes it clear that her friendship with the people she asked to be bridesmaids is more important than participating in the wedding.
In her TikTok video, Torres said she received one “no” to her bridesmaid proposal and that she’s still good friends with that person. She told KSAT that one of the things she’s seen in the responses to the letter has been “heartbreaking stories” from other people who said they had relationships end “due to a lack of communication about the expectations of being a bridesmaid.”
She also said she’s received messages from former bridesmaids who said they wished “someone would’ve done this” for them.
“There has been a huge discussion around the different wedding norms between North America and the rest of the world,” Torres said of the response to her letter. “It’s very common in the U.S. and Canada for bridesmaids to buy their own dress. I bought my own when I was a bridesmaid and I learned from the commenters that it’s not the case in other areas.”
While Torres said there are still people arguing with each other in the comments of the TikTok video, she’s glad she did it.
This isn’t Torres’ first time making headlines either. She was the valedictorian of South San Antonio High School in 2010 and was featured in an Express News article that detailed her success despite having a troubled past.
Torres said she is “so excited” to be getting married next year and finished her letter by telling her potential bridesmaids that she just wants them to “drink, dance and have fun.”