SAN ANTONIO – The holidays bring about feelings of joy and love for some families, but for others, they mean instability, fear, and danger.
Domestic violence spikes every year during the holidays, according to national organizations as well as Bexar County Family Violence Prevention Services.
Experts and survivors agree that during the holidays, stress elevates, finances usually take a hit, alcohol and drug use tend to increase and people are at home more with their family.
One brave young woman who escaped to the Bexar County shelter opened up about it, saying she grew up in an abusive home and just escaped an abusive relationship.
While she chose not to reveal her identity, she is finally about to spend the first holiday season in her life without fear.
“The holidays were always something that I dreaded,” she said. “I knew it was going to be lonely. I knew I was going to be scared.”
She made it to the Battered Women and Children’s Shelter in October, escaping abuse she knew would get worse come November and December.
“It started off, of course, with like verbal intimidation,” she said. “Lots of threats. It essentially escalated to physical which included driving crazy on the road, making death threats to me. I was choked,” she said.
She was terrified to call the police, but she’s grateful she did.
“Especially now that I’m pregnant,” she said. “So I’m trying to do things differently and learn as much as I can while I’m here.”
She knows she is breaking the cycle of abuse, and said it’s meaningful to be doing it during the holidays which can be the hardest time.
“We’ve seen an increase. The last few months, the numbers have been going up. We do anticipate this during the holidays,” said Christina Campos, the Director of Community Integrated Services at Family Violence Prevention Services, which runs the shelter.
“If there is a concern or a threat and a lack of access to resources, maybe I’m not going to work or picking up the kids from school, it may be harder to call the hotline or to reach out for support to a friend or family member. Maybe more difficult to come in for your counseling session or maintain support from your victim’s advocate if you have one,” Campos said.
There’s also a flip side. Campos said the shelter actually sees short dips this time of year, when survivors try to go back home.
“This is when that honeymoon phase is kicking in. ‘I love you, I’m sorry, it’s the holidays. Please come home.’ Unfortunately, either during the holidays or immediately following, you can see a spike in calls as well,” Campos said.
Campos offered some tough yet crucial advice to parents.
“People think it’s best just to keep the family together. The best gift you could give your child at the holidays or any other time is the gift of a safe, stable home, a nurturing environment. And even if that means temporarily coming to a shelter,” she said.
She emphasized how important it is for survivors to have safety plans before they leave, because leaving can be very dangerous.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline website has an entire section for safety planning, including a page specifically to help plan for the holiday season.
The survivor who opened up to KSAT executed her safety plan and is now thriving at the shelter, taking parenting classes, bonding with other survivors, and planning her future.
“From this point forward, I can enjoy Christmas again and I can look into the new year with a different perspective and not just another year, but a better year,” she said.
She urges other survivors to get out of dangerous situations and experience the hope she now feels.
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic violence, there is so much help for you. KSAT has a list of resources on its Domestic Violence webpage, which also explains how to identify different types of abuse.
If it’s an emergency, text or call 911. For wrap-around services, including the Battered Women and Children’s Shelter, call Family Violence Prevention Services at (210) 733-8810.
You can also contact the Bexar County Family Justice Center, which also provides wrap-around services at (210) 631-0100.
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