SAN ANTONIO – A recovering pornography addict, who now speaks to men battling the addiction, is sharing his journey to sobriety to encourage staying on the right path when dealing with exploitative material in the age of artificial intelligence.
According to safefamilies.org, most people struggling with pornography addiction later in life were first exposed when they were 10-13 years of age, and the addiction set in quickly.
Those aged 12-17 years old are the largest group of internet pornography viewers in America, the organization said. An alarming statistic that could have started with a simple click of curiosity.
The man said that sharing his story is even more important now that he has a teen daughter navigating today’s internet. KSAT is not identifying the man due to privacy concerns.
“I was hooked with that stuff, but it was an escape from everything,” he said. “It takes me away from my wife and my daughter and myself because it puts me in a shame spiral.”
He said he grew up in a sexualized, male-dominated household.
“At my dad’s business, he had a drawer full of Playboys,” he said. “There were no rules. I could stay up late and do whatever. It started with watching movies late. I didn’t know what I was doing, but no one was telling me what to do or not do or showed me anything about that. I grew up with a bunch of uncles and a dad who always talked masculine about women and checking them out.”
That seed, coupled with watching porn, made it hard for him to have a relationship with anyone.
“I sexualized women so much, making them into things and not into people,” he said. “I was always thinking about bad things. I just couldn’t get close to them.”
He admitted that his addiction got worse as technology advanced.
“Once it started getting into phones, the sky was (the) limit,” he said. “It was a crappy limit, but anything was on the phone. I could watch videos of all kinds for hours at a time. When I am sick like that, that phone is never going to let me down. I am just a couple of clicks away. It does scare me with just how easy it is. It is all over the place now.”
Being addicted to porn developed an addiction for drugs and alcohol for him.
“When you are living a life of shame, it costs you everything,” he said. “I am addicted to shame. Even though I hated it, I was going to do it. Nothing was going to stop me because that was my addiction. It’s like buying a bottle of vodka. I know I am going to tell myself do no drink it, but I end up drinking it. It is the same with porn. You’re online and see a simple video of slightly scantily clad women, but then that snowballs and the next thing you know, you are down a rabbit hole.”
Fortunately, it has been six years since he’s sober from his addiction to porn.
“I deleted Instagram, Facebook and all of that because I know for me that is still a hook,” he said.
Now, as a father of a teen daughter, he encourages having productive conversations between parents and their children.
“I can’t safeguard my daughter from any of this stuff as much as I want to protect her,” he said. “All I can do is be there for her. Have those conversations with her. Also, I look for any red flags. If she is shutting down, hiding, being isolated. Signs that I wish people realized of me when I was (a) boy.”
When asked if he could go back to speak with his parents growing up, to help avoid the dark path he ended up on, he said he would have loved to have been seen.
“I would ask for more attention and hearing me and seeing me and learning what is really going on with me,” he said. “Being more present. Giving more love on the front end because when that love is really shown and If I felt heard and seen, there would have been no reason for me to try to get heard and seen somewhere else.”
He recommends kids ask questions.
“You have to talk about it,” he said. “Ask questions to your parents what certain things mean and if you don’t feel like you can talk to your parents, talk to a trusted person in your life. Maybe a counselor or something. You can’t go exploring all over the place by yourself because that could lead to a dark dark path. You have to learn the right way where your love really is. The more we are quiet, the more it kills us.”
Crime Stoppers of Houston is working closely with thousands of students across the state to educate them about the dangers of explicit online content, especially in the context of artificial intelligence (AI).
“The world has changed, and the issues that children are dealing with have changed,” said Rania Mankarious, the CEO of Crime Stoppers of Houston. “That is why we have a safe space for students online where kids can go to see interactive videos from other teens and can talk through a chat service. We talk to thousands of kids every year, and the message is to tell kids not to send inappropriate photos whatsoever to anyone because they could be used as blackmail or extortion.”
Now the conversation has shifted to people manipulating images using AI against a victim’s will.
“Through the world of AI, someone can put a pic out there, and it (can) be manipulated to make it look like you were doing something that you never engaged in,” she said. “They can even snap a photo of you at the grocery store or at a game and do something threatening with it for the internet. We want parents and children to know there is always a way out of that kind of trouble.”
She emphasized the importance of blocking, screenshotting, and reporting any threatening content such as this.
“The reality is that we don’t want children to engage with any of this,” she said. “That is why we are providing schools with free resources to start those conversations with digital tools and assets. Several school districts are doing a lot to get information in front of students and parents.”
If you are interested in learning more about these resources, click here.