A recent podcast guest spoke about a useful life tip she picked up from a fictional character in a book.
The novel, “A Little Life,” by Hanya Yanagihara, in a way, touches on the concept of recalibrating.
“(And the idea is), the whole secret to parenting is the ability to recalibrate,” recounted Lulu Miller, a self-described “radio-maker” and author. “... The way (the character) talks about it is sort of like, to let go of whatever visions you had for a kid, and to quickly just meet where they are, and work with that. ... This sort of like, haunting of what could be -- this holding on close to a vision for what your kid could be, or what you wanted parenthood to feel like -- that not only dooms you, but it dooms the kid, it cuts you off from surprises and connection and other pathways that really might lead to beauty and fullness.”
And, as Miller pointed out to “The Best Advice Show” host Zak Rosen, this tip can be useful for parenting, but also when it comes to serving as an all-purpose piece of wisdom.
[The entire episode is above. It’s only a few minutes long; give it a listen!]
Think about experiencing a disappointment or a roadblock. Let yourself feel that hurt, Miller said, but then consider this: If you can recalibrate, you’re going to be OK.
Ruined plans and chaos aren’t fun for anyone. Look at the situation, sulk if you need to, be wounded, and then when you’re ready, the idea of recalibrating can be your reminder: This is the new reality. How can you be creative?
It almost sounds “dangerously simple,” Miller said.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t honor or explore your pain or disappointment. But it’s an arrow in a new direction: feel what you need to feel, and when you’re ready and have some energy, the way out is recalibrating.
Rosen, by the way, wants to hear from you next.
To contribute some of your advice, drop him a voicemail at 844-935-BEST. Leave your name and your tip, followed by your email address in case he has any follow-up questions.
It can be deep or not-so-deep. Rosen has a “Food Fridays” feature in which he’d love to feature your cooking advice.
He’s not so much interested in platitudes and truisms, but instead, looking for the specific, odd, uplifting, effective, real advice from you about how you make it through your days.
“The Best Advice Show” is a product of Graham Media Group. Download it wherever you listen to or access podcasts.