Don’t let the pandemic put your marriage at risk

Many divorce lawyers are citing cabin fever due to coronavirus as a contributing cause to couples separating

New data shows that lockdowns because of coronavirus is not only causing health and financial problems, it’s also causing a lot of problems with marriages across the country.

According to the New York Post, this time of year has been busier than usual. According to an online database of legal documents, divorce agreement paperwork has gone up 34% since last year. Many divorce lawyers are citing cabin fever due to coronavirus as a contributing cause to couples separating. Psychologists from Berkeley say there are some things you can do to make sure you don’t get sick of each other.

First, don’t feel bad about feeling bad. Being together for so long can become irritating for either spouse. And when you add kids to the mix, tempers can explode very easily. Psychologists say beating yourself up is counter-productive. Research shows if we can express those negative feelings from time to time, it can lead to a quicker resolution and things are also less toxic in the end.

Next, be prepared for differences of opinion. If you’re both at home, the normal routine is disrupted. That means different people doing chores, more financial worries, and sometimes lack of intimacy because of added responsibilities. Berkeley psychologists say when partners get upset at each other, both need to take a step back and figure out to meet each other halfway.

Finally, let the hard times make you stronger. Whether it’s financial problems, health issues, or having to teach kids from home, arguments and disagreements are bound to come up. Psychologists say try to see past the problems in front of you and focus on the good times ahead. try to plan a vacation or plan something that can provide a new focus.

Many relationship experts say the pandemic will probably break a lot of couples, but it will also make some stronger if spouses are prepared endure some hard work that will pay off later in life.

About the Authors:

David Sears, a native San Antonian, has been at KSAT for more than 20 years.